Funny Swimming Quotes Funny Swimming Quotes

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style.

Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest.

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.

Swimming is more than a once-every-four-years sport.

My goal is to bring attention to swimming - to give it some personality.

What doesn't kill you makes you smaller

I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim.

She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

If you want to learn to swim jump into the water.

On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you.

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious.

As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool.

I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. "Get off of me." "But I love you." "I don't know you, kid."

I love sailing and water sports; whether it's water skiing, body boarding or surfing or simply swimming in the ocean.

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

Trust me, You can dance.

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning.

Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day.

It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup.

" She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.

When I was here there was still a requirement that students had to swim 50 yards to graduate...because Harry Elkins Widener had drowned with the sinking of the Titanic. And it made me very grateful at the time that he had not gone down in a plane crash.

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition.

I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.

I went swimming the other day and my wife was watching and she said, 'You know, it's funny, it's when you've got no clothes on, no one recognizes you.' I said, 'What are you saying? That I should do more love scenes?'

That's part of the comedy, too, is we do have jokes throughout of hanging a lantern on the absurdity of the world. Like, when BoJack's flying over the neighborhood, you see some houses have swimming pools in the backyard, and what does that mean? Why would there be a swimming pool underwater? But we thought it was funny.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed.

Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it.

Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.

In matters of style, swim with the current, in matters of principle, stand like a rock.

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?

Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'

I love to swim. When I jump in the water, I feel like I'm 12 years old again. It's really funny how it does that to me.

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it.

An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you're swimming.

The Olympics are getting mixed reviews.

People are angry at NBC for showing a promo that revealed the winner of a swimming event even though the race hadn't aired yet. NBC apologized saying, 'We're just not used to people watching our network.'

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

Live in the sunshine. Swim the sea. Drink the wild air.

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed.

I learnt to swim before I could walk.

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are.

They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.

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Source: https://quotlr.com/quotes-about-funny-swimming

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